I started a 2014 adventure of a daily short list of the “good stuff,” the things that make me smile, warm my heart, or otherwise give off good vibes. Here it is: http://joyspotting.wordpress.com/
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Free Smiles Leave a comment
Coloring My Calendar 4 comments
HERE BE DRAGONS
So it does not trouble me that I don’t know the shape 2014 will take. Wait, did I just write that? What poppycock. I’m not okay with this at all. One of my coping mechanisms is to be in control of my life, and I can’t steer blind. 2013 ran out of road a week ago, and there are no more leaves to unfold on my map… the journey ahead simply wanders off the edge of the page. But the road carries me along still, without my leave. So, since I can’t see or direct my destination or route, I’ve settled on coloring in the shapes of each day.
My red crayon found this to highlight: “Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don’t plan it, don’t wait for it, just let it happen.” I like it! And after opening that daily treat, I want to jot down the experience in order to remind myself, to expand the pleasure, and to share it with others… not just for the treats I find, but for those that find me or ones I stumble upon. Someone even suggested keeping a photo journal, which I’ve been doing, and I think I’m kind of hooked.
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Here’s my “gift to self” from 2 days ago 
Mocha with a marshmallow. I haven’t put a marshmallow in hot chocolate for as long as I can remember. It brings back good memories of snow-frozen fingers wrapped around a hot cup and icy toes warming on a toasty hearth, watching the flames dance and sizzle.
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Yesterday, on my daily walk it was the unexpected beauty in winter’s deadness, nature’s ice sculpture
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Today’s pleasure was sitting in a quaint local coffee house to write this blog and then listen to a friend share heart issues.
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May you discover for yourself simple daily pleasures to add a little color to the dark days of winter.
My Favorite Season 1 comment
Is Selfishness Evil? 9 comments
The Giving Tree (for those who don’t know) is a children’s book that tells the simple love story of a boy and his tree. As the boy grows, he loses interest in the tree except as it can benefit him, so the loving tree slowly gives itself away a little at a time to the boy–apples to sell, branches for a house, until finally…
Many see in Shel Silverstein’s book an example of unlimited, sacrificial love. I see a brilliant example of co-dependence. Is it a virtue to harm myself in order to help others?
A year or two ago I read a quote from Ayn Rand’s book “The Virtue of Selfishness,” and was intrigued by her siding with selfishness against altruism as our ethical necessity, our moral calling. (She did not distinguish between selfishness and self-care, which is a complex contrast to untangle.) Here is an example of her perspective, which rings true to a lot of my own life experience:
Altruism declares that any action taken for the benefit of others is good, and any action taken for one’s own benefit [i.e. selfishness] is evil…. Observe what this beneficiary-criterion of morality does to a man’s life. The first thing he learns is that morality is his enemy: he has nothing to gain from it, he can only lose; self-inflicted loss, self-inflicted pain and the gray, debilitating pall of an incomprehensible duty is all that he can expect. He may hope that others might occasionally sacrifice themselves for his benefit, as he grudgingly sacrifices himself for theirs, but he knows that the relationship will bring mutual resentment, not pleasure—and that, morally, their pursuit of values will be like an exchange of unwanted, unchosen Christmas presents, which neither is morally permitted to buy for himself…. If you wonder about the reasons behind the ugly mixture of cynicism and guilt in which most men spend their lives, these are the reasons: cynicism, because they neither practice nor accept the altruist morality—guilt, because they dare not reject it.
I had that guilt of never doing enough for others, but instead of cynicism I practiced and accepted the altruistic morality of denying my own needs (because the needs of others always trumped mine). This conviction that my own needs did not matter left me with a sense of worthlessness. Is selfishness evil? Is it always virtuous to give? I’d like to explore in a few blogs some of Ayn Rand’s views.
So… 4 comments
In July I stopped posting because I was depressed (over my failing lawn enterprise). In August I kept silent because I was no longer depressed (with my fall job returning) and had no interest in poking my emotions. Let sleeping dogs lie… they need their rest. Now that I’ve had my breather, I’m waking up to the world again, renewing my personal search for the real and true, but I’m going at a more leisurely pace. I think I’ve been in much too big a hurry to grow up. I need to learn to relax into time.
Did He Say What I Think He Said? 2 comments
Sometimes I wish my brain didn’t complicate everything, or that I could at least relate my thoughts in a simpler way to others. Everything seems interconnected to me, so I find it very difficult to share anything without sharing everything… I know that because of what I leave out, what I leave in will be distorted. In my effort to include all that needs to be said for clear communication and still keep my comments short, I seem to pack thoughts in too tightly (so my wife says) and this creates a different distortion. And what is clear to me may be totally misunderstood by others. So I’d really appreciate anyone posing questions, offering different perspectives… basically interacting with the thoughts I offer. Whether or not we agree, it helps to clarify what is being said. My warm thanks to those who do interact with my words on FB or my blog.
Meditation from David Edwards 5 comments
Give me half!
Kimberly and I read this together Sunday and found the subject quite relevant:
As Jesus is teaching, someone in the crowd calls out, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the family inheritance with me.” He wants Jesus to correct a personal injustice he has suffered. He thinks that if Jesus changes his brother, and he gets his share of the loot, he will be happy. He locates the cause of his suffering outside of himself.
Jesus doesn’t bite the hook. “Who made me a judge or arbitrator over you?” If Jesus really cared about people, would he not jump at the chance to make things right between people? Most of us would! We love to get in there and decide who is wrong, who is right, and think we are fixing things. Jesus teaches us to see more deeply than that…. If Jesus had stepped in and made his brother split the inheritance, nothing would have changed. The man would still be stuck in his own spiritual poverty.
Our responses to others reveal more about ourselves than the other person…. Just when we think we are so loving, forgiving, non-violent, so full of God’s purposes, someone or something comes along and trips us up. Tha anger, the fear, the jealousy, the judgmentalism flare up in us again. And once more we find ourselves thinking it is this other person or this circumstance that needs to be changed. If we can receive persons and experiences into our spiritual lives and discover what they are teaching us about ourselves, we will find that the real answer is not in the change that happens around us but within us. When we are engaged in that kind of transformative spiritual life, when true, deep love, when true peacefulness, when true forgiveness and compassion are being formed in us, then we are people who foster change in others and the world.
We don’t know what happened to the person in the crowd that day, what he did with Jesus’ teaching. He was at an important juncture in his life. He could remain the prisoner of expectations and demands related to his brother and to life around him. Or he could look at himself, come to greater self-awareness, and turn toward a life of true security, freedom, and joy.
Kimberly’s Clarifications 1 comment
Kimberly is worried that some folks may think I am reporting on current discussions, that we are in some kind of tiff. I’m actually reporting a synopsis of hundreds of conversations over the last seven years. We are mostly on the same page now, but it took years of hard work to get here, and has been worth every effort.
Feedback Please!! 4 comments
This blog site is a little over a month old, and I would really value your feedback. Are posts too long or too short? Do I post too often? Should I publicize each post on Facebook or just some (and if so which kind)? Any remarks on the content? Any other suggestions? Thanks a million!
You Don’t Really Think That Selfishness Is Good? 4 comments
Some of you may have balked at my last post. Putting myself first sounds downright unchristian. Yet for whose life do you have the greatest responsibility before God? Should you let your own spirituality slip because you are busy helping others with their spiritual journey? Whose physical health are you most responsible to maintain… are you more accountable for your children’s unhealthy food choices than your own? Is there someone more responsible for your mental health than you? Self care is about keeping oneself healthy in every way. I do not mean that I would never choose someone else’s benefit over my own in a given instance, but as a way of life, I believe I am most responsible for myself, and that the more healthy I am, the more a blessing I can be to others. I’d love to hear your responses!
Janathan Grace Reflections 