For 5 months now my long-term depression has been worse than usual. The last two weeks have been especially black. Sometimes it hurts so much I find it hard to breathe. There are moments of being okay on the surface… when I snuggle with Kimberly or cuddle with our dog Mazie, but it is like gasping for air before getting sucked under again. At other times I can distract myself just enough to keep the wolves at bay… I’m not getting bitten, but I still hear the howls, so it is far from a place of peace or renewing energy. I’m not suicidal–life is miserable, not intolerable–but for years now I have wished for my life to end. I feel crippled, lost, broken.
My heart goes out to those of you who struggle as I do. May you find some touch of peace from God today.
Janathan Grace Reflections 
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