Cancer of the Soul   Leave a comment

For 5 months now my long-term depression has been worse than usual.  The last two weeks have been especially black.  Sometimes it hurts so much I find it hard to breathe.  There are moments of being okay on the surface… when I snuggle with Kimberly or cuddle with our dog Mazie, but it is like gasping for air before getting sucked under again.  At other times I can distract myself just enough to keep the wolves at bay… I’m not getting bitten, but I still hear the howls, so it is far from a place of peace or renewing energy.  I’m not suicidal–life is miserable, not intolerable–but for years now I have wished for my life to end.  I feel crippled, lost, broken.

My heart goes out to those of you who struggle as I do.  May you find some touch of peace from God today.

Photo illustration by Mindy Ricketts

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Posted April 9, 2013 by janathangrace in Personal

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