Anniversary Fatigue   6 comments

It’s our anniversary today.  Last year I went “whole hog” as my mother would say: an 8 foot card of all Kimberly’s attributes.  This year things have gone the other direction–pork rinds so to speak.  We’re both tired, worn down, stumbling through our days clinging to linty scraps of hope that we keep misplacing.  My offering in celebration of 7 years of marriage was a handful of dry, leftover brownies I brought home from work and a love note scribbled on a slip of paper from our refrigerator grocery list pad.  I left that for her to discover this morning when she got up.

anniversary note

This is what real marriage is all about.  If a couple’s relationship is threatened by what does or does not happen on their anniversary, they’re making that date carry far too much weight.  You cannot make one day’s extravagance compensate for even a month of short-changing the relationship, and by the same token, a paltry celebration does not diminish a well-maintained heart connection.  A marriage is built on daily choices–to listen, share, cry, laugh, trust, support–not on grand gestures.  I’m very grateful for what Kimberly and I have.


Posted May 11, 2014 by janathangrace in Personal

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6 responses to “Anniversary Fatigue

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  1. I used the internets to see what ever became of you. I must say, I’m pleased with what I’ve read. I’ve had a journey with some similarities, but fairly different results, to date. Anyway, I’m really moved to read a little about the road you’re on. Peace, Bob Rice

  2. Trinity and Hewitt and Chicago

  3. Well, since I’m a total stranger to anyone reading this, and it’s been sooo long since we’ve seen one another, I won’t go in to much detail. I’m no longer in ministry and no longer a Christian. After several career changes, I am farming a little piece of land in far northern Wisconsin. I’m still happily married to Reba. I can relate to many of the things that you’ve blogged about regarding sense of self and depression, and I admire the way you are going through your journey.

    • I’ve often dreamed of doing just that–move onto a small farm. One of the great struggles of depression is that it leaves me almost no energy to try new things. Bob, I hope you hang around. I have discovered that I would much rather connect with folks who can relate to my outlook than people who agree with my religion. It breaks my heart that what to me seems fundamental to Christianity (honesty and grace) are so hard to find in the church crowd. I’m on facebook under my unmarried name and my email is Thanks for giving me a shout out!

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