Continuing with my list of a reconsidered faith.
6) I thought some feelings like anger and fear were wrong and God judged me for them. I believed I must override those emotions, talk myself out of them, and stop feeling them. I discovered that all feelings were created by God and were good, as vital to listen to and pay attention to as the gauges on the dashboard of my car. I don’t “like” that my gas gauge is near empty, but I’m really grateful that it is telling me so. They are the royal road to self-understanding and relational bonding.
7) I thought some feelings like love, joy, and peace were commanded by God and a sign of spirituality. After all, these were the first three “fruits of the Spirit,” not considering that fruit is an organic result not an intentional effort. I worked hard at pumping up these feelings with self-talk, worship songs, inspiring readings, and prayer. I discovered that God does not command feelings, he animates feelings by loving us inordinately. Our feelings are just responses to the good he pours into us. I am invited to just sit under that sun and soak it in, bury myself in that embrace, fill my heart with that sweetness. My goal now is not loving God, but receiving God’s love for me. Then loving God is as natural and spontaneous as laughing at a good joke or saying “mmmm!” over a good dessert.
8) I was taught that love is not a feeling but an action, so it was measured by behavior. If I did what was good for someone, I was acting in love regardless of how I felt towards them. I could be angry and critical of them, but if my words were kind, I was being loving, perhaps even heroically loving. But kind words, for instance, might come from pride or fear or manipulation, which are contrary to love. Seemingly caring actions might come with resentment or disdain. This shaped in me a fear that God might say loving things through clenched teeth, undermining my trust in Bible verses expressing his love. He might bless me even if he were angry enough to slap me. I’d rather he just slap me and get it over with. His self-control seemed a very poor substitute for love. I wanted his loving acceptance far more than his good words and actions towards me. I now believe that love is a motivation, the reason why we do what we do, and that God is always and wholly motivated by love, the kind of love a mother experiences when looking into the eyes of her newborn. There is complete coherence between his heart, his feelings, and his words. He is enthralled with me.
Janathan Grace Reflections 
this is such a wonderful contemplation of the loving heart of God. It bathes my soul in warm security and benevolence. thank you