When Shame is the Measure of Spirituality   2 comments

This was my written prayer over not missing, but just delaying my morning visit with God.  Welcome to a world where grace is in short supply. (Notice the date, this was well before I awakened to full grace.)

07/07/97

Lord, forgive me for failing to spend time with you this morning.  I was caught up once again in doing other things, working on the day’s tasks instead of spending time with you.  Lord my heart is so prone to wander and so quick to forget and turn aside.  Oh, God make me sensitive to hear your voice.  To crush the voice of my flesh crying out so loudly all day and all night. Let me learn to die to that voice.  To live only to you.  To take my pleasure only in giving you pleasure.  To cast out all darkness, however pretty, from my heart like it is the entrance of Satan into my heart, for it is.  Who can tell where the end of evil is once it enters the heart–for even after repentance and forgiveness it continues its evil work in me and in others, sending out wave after wave of evil from that one initial act.  What fools we are to think we can measure our own sins.  If we added all the evil up which comes from one sin alone, we would find it the mother of countless and terrible demons roaming the earth to devour all good.

We confess a sin quickly, spoken and forgotten.  We said an unkind word to a brother.  Out of discouragement from that word, he fails to be grateful to his wife’s special meal.  She responds by withdrawing into silence and her daughter feels rejected.  Because she is in her mood, she forgets to make lunch for her son.  At the first growth of sin it has multiplied into two lives.  The daughter goes to school, and her attitude affects 5 girls.  The son doesn’t have a lunch, and gets angry as a result, and because of a quarrel, loses a friend who turns against Christianity as a result.  All through his life he affects hundreds of people with his hatred of Christianity.  That sin we confessed and forget that night grows into a terrible monster.  Evil, like energy, never dies, but rather grows and breeds.

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Posted October 8, 2011 by janathangrace in Personal

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2 responses to “When Shame is the Measure of Spirituality

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  1. Lord, High and Holy, Meek and Lowly,
    Thou has brought me to the valley of vision,
    where I live in the depths but see Thee in the heights;
    hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold thy glory.

    Let me learn by paradox
    that the way down is the way up,
    that to be low is to be high,
    that the broken heart is the healed heart,
    that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
    that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
    that to have nothing is to possess all,
    that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
    that to give is to receive,
    that the valley is the place of vision.

    Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,
    and the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine;

    Let me find Thy light in my darkness,
    Thy life in my death,
    Thy joy in my sorrow,
    Thy grace in my sin,
    Thy riches in my poverty,
    Thy glory in my valley.

    taken from The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions

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