For 45 years B.K. (before Kimberly) I did life on my own. Going from single to couple in midlife can’t compare to marrying young, and though it has big pluses, I’ve felt the loss of her absence from my history: so many key events that are not shared moments, so much of who I am pieced together without her. But after my blog post yesterday, I have to recalculate. Missing those years has given her a clearer sense of who I am now, a view untainted by past distortions. In a way, she knows me better than I know myself because those years marred my self-understanding, not just my spirit. Without that baggage, she can see more objectively.
I truly don’t know how younger couples manage to navigate any sort of major life transformation after marriage if they don’t somehow make those transitions in step. Kimberly and I are both dramatically different people from our young adult selves. Had we met then, our false selves would have been inimical. Instead of helping one another towards genuine self-discovery, we would have driven each other into deeper hiding. It would have been a disaster. Our paths only crossed when our souls were ready. Since most of my life was a quick march in the wrong direction, how did I hit the right intersection at the crucial moment? The magic fingers of grace.
Janathan Grace Reflections 
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