Janathan Grace Reflections   This is my journey of self discovery shared with you

Berly has to work today.  I’m writing emails to my family members… thank you notes along with some personal dialogue about the book I gave all of them for Christmas, The Dance of Anger.  A book I highly recommend.

Okay, I’m now officially connected to the internet as well!  I started getting telemarketing calls within 24 hours of getting a phone connection.  I guess they are getting desperate for phone numbers with the do not call registery in effect.  Next time I am going to sign up on the registry as soon as my phone number is assigned, even before I get it connected.  Happy birthday to me, by the way (23rd).  Berly gave me an mp3 player with songs that commemorated our year and a half together.  Things are going well between us.  I attended a small group from our church for the first time last night and enjoyed it.

Thanks, eddie, for the smoke signal idea with Kimberly!  Actually we tried walkie-talkies, cause we’re close enough, but then we have to leave them on all the time, which would mean replacing the batteries every day.  I now actually have a dial tone! 4-345-280-280 (easy to remember with those hyphen placements), but as of yet no answering machine… voicemail is still with my cellphone which I hope to drop soon.  I’m not sure if my dial-up internet connection is workable yet (haven’t tried it).

Okay, so am I cursed or something?  I canceled my DSL two weeks ago because it was as slow as dial-up and ordered just an ordinary land-line.  It was supposed to be activated last Thursday.  Of course it wasn’t.  I tried calling the phone company twice Friday, and guess what… the phone tree told me that their phone lines were too busy and to call back later… it’s bad enough to be on hold for 45 minutes waiting for a real person, but when even a computer refuses to talk to you….  Of course, I was at home where I have very poor cellphone reception anyway, so I got in my car to drive a half-mile away to phone again (yes, any time I make a call lasting more than 2 minutes, I have to drive to make it).  I passed a verizon repairman on the way, so I pulled over and told him my problem.  He said he would come by and help.  He showed up a little while later and with me standing there spent 1 1/2 hours on his cellphone trying to straighten things out unsuccessfully.  Finally he left me with his supervisor’s number, telling me that Jeff would work it out for me.  I got through to another person later in the day who claimed to have worked out the problem and that I should have phone service by 7 p.m.  Now it’s Monday, I phoned Jeff and he said they worked out the problem and I should have dial tone.  I don’t, of course.  He promised to send a repairman by 5 today.  I’m not holding my breath!

More problems with internet and phonelines as usual.  I finally decided just to get an old fashioned land line, which I should be getting by thursday (cross your fingers), and I signed up for netzero as a pop3 account so I can use outlook on my computer.  for those who don’t know, my email address is kent_mcquilkin@yahoo.com.  It’s good to hear updates on everyone.  Not much to report here. 

I see I am just sneaking under the wire to post this before a month has expired on my last blog.  You start losing double brownie points if you cross the 30 day gap.  I FINALLY got my internet working (it died 2 weeks after it started).  But now my VOIP line is not working, so I’m still basically phone-less.  Berly and I spent christmas here in Lynchburg, just the two of us celebrating (she only had 3 days off, and that didn’t seem like enough time to travel… besides she only found out a week in advance that she had the time off.  She has been taking a break from work, only working part time, but she goes back to full time this week.  I have been doing virtually nothing on my doctorate and don’t mind at all!  My shoulders and back have been acting up badly for a month now, which limits sleep and prevents exercise.  How can I be getting this old at 44?!  Berly and I have settled into a church here that we both like.  We hope to get into a small group soon.  That about covers us down here.

Okay, so I’m finally posting a new entry.  I guess if I didn’t feel like I had to write something substantive every time I might write more often.  I now have an internet connection.  In fact I got it the day after writing the last post.  However, Verizon keeps postponing my ‘start-up’ date… the latest being December 8.  How weird is that?!  I tried to get satellite TV this week, but there are too many trees boxing me in to get a signal, so it ain’t possible.  Thanks, Bruce, for that intriguing website regarding the secret postcards.  I think I will order the book. 

Kimberly and I went to her brother’s place in Raleigh, N.C. for thanksgiving.  I get worn out pretty quickly by large crowds (anything more than 4-5 people!), especially if it is folks I don’t know, so I’m glad we weren’t there too long.

My house is a bit of a mess, which is a telltale sign of a similar disorder in my soul.  I just resigned from all involvement in the work I started in India.  Most of you don’t know I have continued to be involved (especially in funneling money to them).  I only recently realized what a great emotional drain it was on me.  Like a typical guy, I thought if I refused to think about it, it wouldn’t affect me much.  Bad idea.  It feels somewhat relieving, but I struggle with the guilt of letting them down.  In truth, as much as they don’t like it, this is probably best for them anyway.

Well, Chaio!

So Verizon is a total disaster.  I’ve waited 1 1/2 months to get connected, it still isn’t supposed to go through till the 23rd, and I’m doubtful that it will work even then (since they sent me a duplicate modem to the one that didn’t work last attempt).  After one month of waiting, emailing, working my way through countless computer phone trees and then human transfer-the-problem-to-someone-else games (until I got back to the beginning again), they finally discovered that the one who made out the original ticket did it wrong.  The only thing I could do was cancel and start over again with a new application.  I’ve decided I am going to sign up for cable internet also and whoever gets me the service first wins me as a client.  I’m still stuck with the cellphone service that doesn’t work (since I can’t get VOIP, since I can’t get internet connected).  I’m very aggravated with all service-oriented big business (as I have been my whole adult life).

OKAY! OKAY!

I have connection problems.  Kimberly’s email often doesn’t work.  I ordered DSL which finally arrived Wednesday (they send a package and you have to get yourself online–the instructions are very simple to follow, but if it doesn’t work, then?).  I actually couldn’t get anything until I got a computer.  Someone at Kimberly’s work gave me a reasonably good computer (just a few years old).  The DSL setup told me my computer only has 50Mhz speed and that I need 233 (or some such), so now I have to buy a computer.  Besides that my cell phone doesn’t get reception either at my place or Kimberly’s.  But I have another 18 months to go on the 2 year agreement.  What’s the use of having a phone when you have to go drive somewhere to use it… may as well revert to pay phones!  IF I could get DSL running, then I would get a VOIP line.  Needless to say, I feel out of touch with folks. 

Interesting to hear what is happening at Bridgeway.  I’m not surprised.  I’m also not troubled by it–folks will find their ways forward.

Berly (Kimberly) is in D.C. at a national convention for L’Arche (the organization she started working for 2 months ago).  Sadly it’s her birthday on Saturday (sad that she’s with nobody to celebrate it).  I sneaked a couple of things into her bags Thursday when she was leaving, but that’s not really the same.  Actually, it is only sad to me since she’s not much into birthday celebrations.

Kimberly is paying about 25 bucks for Adelphia cable TV and another 25 for internet access, a lot better price than DSL.  I went on the website to see what specials were being offered.  It gave the national prices for internet, which were $19.95 for the first 3 months (to suck you in) and after that it jumps to $42.95.  I thought Kimberly must have gotten a local deal currently going on, but since they have no Lynchburg phone numbers, I went down to their office yesterday to check it out.

One customer was in front of me in line, and she was talking about personal things to the lady behind the Adelphia counter.  When her business was finished, she took a couple of steps towards the door and stopped, still talking.  They both ignored me for several minutes as they finished their little chat.  Finally Lady Adelphia decided she had time for me and turning to me asked, “What’s your address?” (not “can I help you?” or “what can I do for you today?”).  She punched it into her computer, and when nothing came up she realized she had asked the wrong question.

“I’m here to ask about new service,” I said.  “Is there some kind of special?  My girlfriend lives three blocks from my place and she is getting cable and internet access for about 25 bucks each.”

“Well,” she answered, “we have a special, a 3-month special for $21.95 a month.  After that it goes up to $42.95.  Modem rental is an additional $3 a month.”  I suddenly realized how they had misled Kimberly–and would have gotten me if I had not seen the website. 

I tried to use a gentle voice to allay any defensiveness: “The way you say that sounds kind of confusing.  Your customers could easily understand you to mean that if they sign up today they will pay only 21.95 from now on.”

“Oh,” she responded, “People do sometimes claim that we didn’t tell them their rates would go up.  That’s why we are very careful in how we say it: ‘we have a 3-month special for $21.95 a month.  After that it goes up to $42.95.'”

“Well, if I heard you say that,” I replied, “I could easily think you meant there is a 3-month window, and that if I sign up now, I can permanently lock in the low price.”  She responded politely and with a patient smile, “Well I don’t understand what YOU are saying.”  She didn’t WANT to understand what I was saying.

At this point I realized I was the victim of Southern gentility–she can completely ignore my comments as long as she does it with a soft tone and a smile.  Shoot someone in broad daylight on Main street, and if you do it with the proper manner–dress nicely, speak politely, tip your hat to the ladies–Everyone will say you are a real gentleman.  The one great unifying cultural force in the South, the foundation for all good relationships, the mightiest instrument for social advancement is denial… by politeness.