The founder of the organization I work in (L’Arche) has many ideas that resonate with me (when understood with the gentleness and grace with which it is offered). Here is one of them:
Over the years I have discovered four principles necessary for human growth and for good accompaniment-or mentoring of others The Principle of Reality is to embrace things as they really are, and not to be constantly angry with them but rather to see what is positive in them. Not to be attached to preconceived ideas, and especially not to prejudices and theories. To recognize in ourselves the blind spots and the defense mechanisms that stop us from seeing reality, and lead us to deny it. To love and live the present moment in the reality that is given.
– Jean Vanier, Our Journey Home, p. 158
Janathan Grace Reflections 
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