I have been doing my week’s work in two days–double shift thursday and friday and recovery saturday!  Berly and I were going to play miniature golf last night, but the two courses they have in Lynchburg are very plain-jane, and for me the fun is not in getting a ball in the hole, but in playing through all those creative and wild constructions.  So we went shopping at WalMart instead–got a pair of shoes for each of us and looked at TVs (since ours is dying).  We’re planning on going to Virginia Beach for her birthday, so hopefully we can find a good course there (I know they have fun ones in Myrtle Beach). 

We’re thinking about buying season tickets to Busch Gardens in Williamsburg.  They are 2008 unlimited use tickets that can be used the rest of THIS year also.  They are also 25% off if purchased in 4s.  Any other interested parties out there?  I’ve started putting up the sound-proof wall in our loft bedroom.  I enjoy working around the house.  I need to buy a jointer for cleaning up the used wood I scavanged for our use.  Berly’s aunt is getting us used household stuff from Raleigh, NC as our wedding present, so maybe I should look on Craig’s list for one of those for her to get–they’re pretty expensive new.

Have a great day all!

We’ve been busy little bees since our (my) last blog.  We had two more receptions, one in Houston and one in Chicago (where Berly is from) and stopped in to see our friends in Arlington on our way back.  At my request, my work hours have changed, so I am working 3 p.m. to 7 a.m. on Thursdays and Fridays (double shifts).  I also work Wednesday p.m. at Pizza Hut.  Berly is also working at L’Arche again, 30 hours a week.  I like my new schedule.  I was using it to get a lot of work done on the house, but that got me distracted from my new marriage, which started to suffer as a result, so Berly and I have spent most of the last two weeks talking.  I was only half joking when I told her that marriage is a full time job! 

I discovered a house that was demolished and was going to be crated away to the dump the next day, so I borrowed a friend’s truck and spent 6p.m. to midnight pulling loose boards and piling them up to take back to my place, mostly hardwood flooring that I plan to use on my many house projects but also a full cedar closet (one of my projects is making a closet for the master bedroom which has none).

I guess the biggest news is that Kimberly and I decided that we would take a completely new name when we married.  I’ve always gone by my middle name, Kent, which I still have, but I decided to change my first name from Douglas to Janathan (pronounced like Jonathan, except the ‘j’ sounds like ‘y’).  Janathan means “God gives.”  All my life I struggled with the idea that God is a taker–he demands my time, my money, my dreams, my soul.  It is only in recent years that I have discovered God is always and only a giver–whatever he asks from us is completely for our benefit, to increase our ultimate pleasure and joy.

Kimberly and I feel we are setting out individually and as a couple on a very new course, a complete rethinking for the whole basis of our lives, thoughts, relationships, and beliefs.  Some of you know a lot about the huge redirection of my own journey–you could call it receiving the gospel of grace.  We felt this was such a deep, transforming commitment that we wanted to express it in the most clear, bold way and so we have also chosen to take the last name “Grace.”  My full name means “God Gives Grace” (isn’t that wonderful!)   Our choosing not to take McQuilkin as our married name was much harder for my dad to accept than I had anticipated.  He is still trying to come to terms with it, though I have assured him that it in no way implies a rejection of him.

Calling ourselves “Grace” doesn’t mean that we consider ourselves gracious people, but that we want our whole lives to be rooted and grounded and springing out of grace, that our perspective and decisions and self understanding and purpose be focused on discovering more deeply and dwelling more constantly in the infinite grace of God. So we are legally Janathan Kent Grace and Kimberly Joy Grace.  I would like my friends to start calling me Janathan if you would.

Love to all of you, Janathan

Hey all.  So we pulled off the wedding and had a week long honeymoon with two receptions mixed in… one in Raleigh, NC with some of Berly’s family and one in Columbia, SC with my family.  We have been scrambling to get Kimberly moved into our new home in between my working 1 1/2 jobs.  It has been very busy.  for those with a more verbal bent, the ceremony follows:

Mark– prayer inviting God to witness and bless the wedding ceremony

Mark– short homily

Mark– prayer for the couple

Kent– (words honoring Kimberly)

Kent– (song ‘You Make Me Beautiful’)

Kimberly– (words honoring Kent)

Kimberly– (poem ‘Awake’)

Mark– ‘As an expression that your hearts are joined together in love, will you now please join your hands.)

Mark– Transition statement to vows

Mark– ‘Kent, before God, do you take Kimberly to be your soul-mate and wife, to love, honor and support her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health and forsaking all others, be hers alone so long as you both shall live?’

Kent: “I do”

Mark– ‘Kimberly, do you take Kent to be your soul-mate and husband, to love, honor and support him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health and forsaking all others, be his alone so long as you both shall live?’

Kimberly: “ I do”

Mark– ‘Kent, with what sign do you seal this covenant?’

Kent– ‘with this ring’ (put on finger)

Mark ‘Kimberly, with what sign do you seal this covenant?’

Kimberly– ‘with this ring’ (put on finger)

Mark– (pronouncement)

Mark– ‘You may now kiss the bride’

Mark– (prayer of blessing & commitment to God’s grace)

Kent’s words honoring Kimberly

‘Kimberly, next to his own Son, you are God’s supreme gift to me, the greatest expression of his love and care. Our hearts are intertwined in mutual trust, support, and love. Your wisdom and strength, courage and honesty, beauty of character and soul delight me. I am amazed at how God so intricately designed us for one another’s pleasure, fulfillment, and wholeness. You are so much more of a life companion than I could ever have thought possible, good beyond belief. Who you are, and all that you are, is exactly what I need. God has used you to set my soul free and alive in truth as I never imagined. You see me for who I am and who I can be and accept me as I am while believing with me for who I am becoming. I am safe with you, even my deepest, most vulnerable parts, but you also encourage me and challenge me to grow. I give myself wholly to you and receive you wholly into my heart.’

Kimberly’s words honoring Kent

My life until I met you was about bearing the things that happened to and around me, and trying to make sense of it all the best that I could. My life since knowing you has been about discovering who God made me to be, and how to become more of the beautiful creation He had in mind when He knit me together. Through you, God has shown me what is truly good. You believe in me, support me, listen to my heart, draw me out into the light, and love every part of who I really am. You lead me into the real truth of God, and help me piece together the parts of life and love that I have never understood. By being who you are, you have invited me to join you in a quest for grace and truth that has taken my breath away, and I am honored to give myself wholly to you and receive you wholly into my heart.

Kent’s vows

‘Before God our Father and by his grace,

I promise to listen and seek to understand you, to accept all of you, the good and bad, and to share all of my life with you, to hold nothing back; to love you without reservation and receive your love for me; to trust you more deeply day after day and be more worthy of your trust.

I promise to acknowledge the differences in our interests, opinions, desires, feelings, and needs,and to respect and honor yours while taking responsibility for my own. I will laugh with you and cry with you, comfort you in times of distress and welcome your comfort, and be attentive to your needs. And when I fail, we will discover more of grace.

I promise to seek God together, to grow in trusting him and receiving his love and truth, to pray for you and with you; to be a channel of God’s grace to you, and to receive God’s grace through you; to expect us to have failures, shortcomings, inadequacies, and faults, and to be patient with both of us, resting in God’s unfailing grace. 

I promise with you to choose the way of growth and to welcome the changes that will bring in each of us and in our relationship, the hard as well as the pleasurable; in humility, to learn from you and to offer my insights to you and to encourage and support you to discover and be your truest self as God intended.

I will cherish you and commit myself wholly to you for as long as we both shall live.’

Kimberly’s Vows

Before God our Father and by His Grace,

I promise to listen to you, and accept you as you are—seeking to understand you and to increase understanding between us ; and to continue to share all of myself with you, taking necessary risks and doing what I can to foster our growth in mutual trust.

I promise to nurture the bond between us by making choices to express my love for you in ways that you can receive, to respect your individuality in the form of thoughts, opinions, feelings, and needs without taking responsibility for them, and to receive your input and insight into my life and heart in a meaningful way.

I promise to follow your lead as we seek to discover and relate to our loving and gracious God, to pray for and with you, to grow in trusting Him and in giving and receiving His grace and truth, to seek Him for strength when I come to the end of myself, to be a channel of His truest love for you and to continually seek for ways to do so.

I promise to encourage you in growth and health, even when that requires significant risk on my part. I will do exactly what it is most difficult for me to do—trust and respect you enough to speak the truth in love and expect that it will bring growth and not destruction. In this way, I promise to produce life as a result of our union.

I will cherish, respect, and commit myself wholly to you for as long as we both shall live.’

Everyone who wants to come is invited to our Columbia reception, but please rsvp to my email if you are coming (kent_mcquilkin@yahoo.com)

For those who are wanting to make it to the Columbia wedding reception, here are the directions:

1) From I-20 turn onto US 321 N via exit 70 toward Winnsboro (12.7 miles)

2) Turn left onto Candlewood cir. (0.1 miles)

3) Turn left onto Emerald Dr. (0.3 miles) to #293 Emerald Drive

We are having the reception at a private home, and it will be outside if the weather is good.  Please feel free to dress comfortably (informal).

By the way, for other info:

cell phone: 434-609-2004 (we’d rather not get phone calls during our honeymoon however unless it’s urgent!)

email: kent_mcquilkin@yahoo.com

mailing address: 4925 Boonsboro Rd., PMB 230, Lynchburg Va, 24503

We are first-time home owners!  I like the outside and Berly likes the inside most.  The living room has cathedral ceilings with two skylights and a loft that includes a small bedroom and bathroom.  We were kind of stressed because several issues came up we had to overcome financially and in the sellers coming through with their agreement, but in the end it all worked out fine, even better than fine, since we got a number of extras we weren’t expecting (such as a full propane tank for our gas fireplace and new bathtub fixtures).  The “master” bedroom is in the loft, which currently has no privacy, closet, or space for dressers!  So I have some handyman work I have to do–one reason we are registered at Home Depot (along with Berly’s choice of Target).  We’re excited about having our own place for the first time in our lives!  Love to all, Kent

So it’s been a while since I blogged last.  Among other major events, Kimberly and I have been house shopping and we have a written contract on a house we both like.  Unfortunately, L’Arche has not found another role for her (her old job was replaced while she was on leave of absence), so we are dependent on my work for now, which isn’t enough to manage, so I’m going to have to get a second job.  I’ve applied for a position as a pizza delivery man part time.  We’ll hear soon if I got the job.

Since my last blog, I also went down to my alma mater, Columbia International University, to preach.  I had one opportunity to speak to the student body and twice to smaller groups of students.  Many seemed to be encouraged by my message on grace, and some asked for an electronic version of my book “Overwhelmed by Grace.”  Kimberly went with me to Columbia, which made it much more pleasurable.  May we all live more in his grace and freedom!

On February 14th, 2007,

God created a celestial ice world

On a mountain in Bedford, Virginia

And pledged our intention to make a lifetime covenant.

We’re Engaged!

And…

While we wanted to share

This news joyfully with you,

We ask you to also share joyfully

 In acknowledgement

That our wedding day is uniquely ours

And we will be sharing together

 The ceremony of marriage

 Without any witnesses,

 Save God and His minister,

To memorialize

this most intimate and private covenant.

We expect to celebrate in some way

With loved ones

 On a later date

With love, Kimberly and Kent

Well, I have had bronchitis for two weeks now, starting on Christmas eve!  Thankfully Berly and I celebrated Christmas that morning, so I didn’t really miss anything, but I have been fairly miserable.  Luckily I got a day off for Christmas week and a day off for new years (and took two sick days), so I had extra time to rest.  I seem to be getting slowly better.  Berly and I celebrated Christmas together at a lodge near the blueridge parkway.  Half the day was spent in processing some of our personal issues–for us, that makes it a good day!  It is deeply fulfilling for us to connect with our true hearts, understand and accept ourselves and each other, and reach a new level of personal and relational health.  It is not comfortable, but very comforting, not easy, but very enriching.

Well, I can’t seem to think of anything important to say.  I thought the warm weather was finally behind us, but we are supposed to reach 60 degrees tomorrow!  Considering how much I froze my toes off yesterday biking, I will gladly welcome shirt sleeve weather.  Some of the hills I bike around here are miserably steep.  A couple of them I can’t climb without weaving from one shoulder to the other all the way up, and it doesn’t help my back.  We are having a “Dirty Santa” L’Arche party on Tuesday (should probably call it “Cheap Santa”), and another one on the 19th.  Berly will probably come to the second one–she’s been avoiding appearances at the house, but thought she might like to come to this.  We are still deciding about what to do for Christmas–plan to be on our own… maybe spend the night somewhere special.  Hope you all have great Christmas celebrations!

It is thanksgiving morning.  It has never been a very big celebration in our family other than a large meal with extended family, less extended as the years have gone by, so I don’t really miss not doing anything or being with anyone significant.  It mostly feels like any other day.  I volunteered to work in the L’Arche home today (3-11p.m.) so others could enjoy family gatherings.  Even our core members are mostly out with family, though two will have returned by this afternoon and we plan to go eat at our weekly gathering spot called “The Fisherman’s Lodge,” a weekly community dinner sponsored by a small local church that draws 30 or 40 people.

It has turned beautiful outside, but my knee is bummed from biking yesterday (in very cold rain), so no biking today.  This weather is luckily supposed to hold through the weekend (when temperatures will reach the upper 60s).  I started to really connect with my soul this morning, but those feelings just walked out without warning or reason, so I’m left with this sense of emptiness… I’m not sure where my emotions will drift today.  Kimberly will be home tomorrow, which gives me something to hang hope on.